It's the week before the Super Bowl, which means that our inbox is getting flooded with stupid press releases. One in particular, from someone affiliated with AshleyMadison.com (a website where married people can find other married people to bone), is very stupid but also attention-grabbing. The website polled 22,560 of it's female users, asking them which Harbaugh brother they'd rather have an extramarital humping session with. Jim Harbaugh, the frighteningly intense head coach of the San Francisco 49ers, or the older and mellower John, who coaches the Baltimore Ravens. The results are rather surprising:
While Jim claims to be ‘half the coach' his brother is, 66% of the 22,560 women polled said they'd prefer to get in the ‘sack' with the younger Harbaugh. The 49er's coach was a cinch to win in San Francisco with 96% of the vote, but also received some East Coast votes with the women of NY (73%), Chicago (64%), and Dallas (71%).
[...]
When asked why they chose Jim over John, responses included his "intensity," "passion," and "balls."
Gross. Anyway, this gave us a fun yet simple idea: let's come up with as many made-up sexual positions involving Harbaugh puns as possible. Like this:
The discussion section is your canvas. Get to it.