If you asked us which two athletes would be most likely to team up and flood the internet with photos of themselves shirtless and partying during a night out, our answer would be simple: Johnny Manziel and Rob Gronkowski. And yet, here we are, staring at a photo of Manziel and Gronk that features no bare pectorals and no brews being crushed. The world seems more complicated than it did yesterday.

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This happened during today's League Two match between Gillingham and Wycombe. Jordan Archer, the keeper for Wycombe, had just been given a yellow card for time wasting, an infraction which seems to have upset one crazy Gillingham fan. The fan decides to run onto the field and hit Archer with a poorly executed tackle before being restrained by field security.

This screencap of an email, sent by someone named Jacob to an offshore sports book, has been making its way around the internet today, and boy is it sad. The only thing more depressing than placing a prop bet on whether or not Beyoncé will be showing cleavage during the first song of her halftime performance is writing an email to dispute the results of that bet when you lose. The email reads:

Subject: Beyoncé Prop Grading Issue

Hello, account #[redacted]. I'm inquiring about ticket #[redacted], the description of which was:

Super Bowl XLVII - Beyoncé - Beyoncé - Will she be showing cleavage first song - Yes -500

This wager was graded as a loss, and I'm having a hard time understanding why. Cleavage is defined as:

"The hollow between a woman's breasts, especially as revealed by a low neckline."

While Mrs. Knowles-Carter did not appear to immediately be displaying cleavage when she was first shown at the beginning fo the halftime show, she quite clearly was shortly afterward, which was still during the first song. I DVRed the game, and can provide photo evidence of this if deemed necessary.

Thank you for your understanding.

Jacob

Actually, Jacob, you can't provide photo evidence, because you are dead fucking wrong. See that picture at the top of the page? That's what Beyoncé was wearing when she first appeared on stage and began singing "Love On Top." And yeah, she does remove a piece of her outfit a few minutes later, revealing plenty of cleavage, but she does so while singing "Crazy In Love." Those are two different songs, Jacob! You lose! Good day sir!

[Imgur]

Knicks guard J.R. Smith is a career 74 percent free-throw shooter, and his nickname is "J.R. Swish." So, he's not the player you would expect to airball a free throw, and yet that's exactly what Smith did during the second quarter last night's Pistons-Knicks game. Everyone found the moment to be rather hilarious, except for Knicks coach Mike Woodson, whose reaction at the 34-second mark is absolutely priceless.

But Smith wasn't finished entertaining us. During halftime, a few lucky kids got to have a pick-up game on the MSG court, and Smith decided it would be fun to try and get some run with the little ones. Here's how that went:

Unreal. Smith was wide open on the wing, and that kid couldn't get him the ball? You have to feed your shooters when they're open, kid! Smith didn't let the moment get him down, though. He still managed to hoist up six of his game-high 13(!) three-point attempts in the second half.

GIF via @TheKnicksWall

[YouTube]

Miami Marlins outfielder Juan Pierre has a website. The website is called BeastModeForChrist.com. This is what the "about" page on BeastModeForChrist.com says:

Before I got saved I always thought Christians were soft especially Christian athletes. So once I got saved and developed a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I realized that Jesus is a Beast. Jesus isn't soft by any means. He died for me, for all of us, on the cross – He took my place on it (the Cross) and He saved me from eternal destruction (hell). Also, He was relentless in pursuing to do His Father's business – He never gave up! Jesus is our best example of how we should live on this earth. So if Jesus is a Beast then I should be a beast in every aspect of my life whether I'm on the baseball field or off the field - as a husband, father, son, brother, employee, church member, etc. So to be in Beast Mode is to be in Christ Mode!!!

If you want to go hard for the lord with Juan Pierre, you can buy a Beast Mode For Christ shirt here. All proceeds go to charity.

Earlier today, we enjoyed some footage of Rob Gronkwoski boogieing at XS Nightclub in Las Vegas. Thanks to reader Tony, we have been blessed with even more Gronktastic dancing. Although this clip doesn't feature any wrestling moves, it does have the added hilarity of a nearly naked guy with a cardboard box on his head joining Gronk and his bros on stage. And you won't want to miss Gronk's spirited booty-popping at the 28-second mark.

We thought that last summer's shirtless, Bud Light-fueled rampage through every bar and nightclub in America was a one-time thing for Gronk. The Patriots reportedly put the kibosh on it last July. But a second Summer of Gronk has arrived, and it's already off to a roaring start. We're excited.

This video has been making its way around the internet today, and everybody who watches it is like, "Awwww look at that precious little baby throwing balls into his little baby-sized basketball hoop. What a cute, talented baby that is!" Even those saps at Gawker got in on the act.

Fuck that. This baby's shooting form is god-awful. He just cranks the ball behind his head and flings an ugly, line drive of a shot toward the basket. (Nobody oohed and aahed when Manute Bol hit a three.) That shit might fly in your play room, Junior, but it won't get you very far when there's a hand in your face.

Verdict: FRAUD.

Oh you know, just your standard fast-break, flip-the-ball-behind-your-head-from-below-your-hip-while-getting-fouled layup that hits every part of the rim before gently falling through the net. Nuggets forward Danilo Gallinari somehow managed to pull off this shot in the final minute of last night's game against the Milwaukee Bucks, pushing the Nuggets' lead to six and effectively wrapping up a 112-104 victory.

Gallinari's shot was a fitting exclamation point to what was a bizarre game. This was a game in which the Nuggets trailed by 15 at halftime and surrendered 35 points to Samuel Dalembert, who went 17-21 from the field while playing only 27 minutes. Yes, Samuel Dalembert, the 31-year-old backup center who averages 6.7 points per game, looked like Wilt Chamberlain for most of the night. Meanwhile, the Bucks high-scoring backcourt tandem of Brandon Jennings and Monte Ellis scraped together a combined 24 points on 11-36 shooting.

The Nuggets played atrocious defense all night (see: Dalembert, Samuel) and trailed for almost the entire game, and yet they still managed to squeeze out a win thanks to a few well-timed steals down the stretch, one of which led to Gallinari's trick shot. Oh, and JaVale McGee didn't do anything spectacular or spectacularly embarrassing. It really was a weird game.

The Baltimore Ravens held their championship parade yesterday. Despite the presence of many armored personnel carriers and pyrotechnic displays, nothing all that noteworthy happened. At least that's what we thought until today, when we learned that running back Ray Rice fell off his parade float while glad-handing with some nearby fans. Here's how Rice described the incident on the Boomer and Carton show:

You know, the float stopped short and I fell off of it, but I caught myself. I'm good though. I'm telling y'all that because y'all are my boys. Ray Rice has no injuries. I fell off the float, but I'm good.

[...]

I caught myself in the pushup position, got back up and said, "Let's party."

What a wonderful use of third person. Also, from now on I'm going to shout, "Let's party!" after every moment of personal clumsiness.

[CBS]

Last night, Newtown High's Mike Daubert hit a game-winning three-point jump shot at the buzzer to give his team a 57-55 victory over New Milford. You will watch this and you will feel good.

Earlier this morning, Delanie Walker sent out the following tweet:

On Monday, the New Orleans Times-Picayune reported that two people had been killed by a drunk driver in a fiery crash early that morning:

State Police said Nechole Thomas, 26, of Houston, was driving a 2002 Mercedes C230 at a high rate of speed on the right shoulder of westbound elevated I-10 around 5:30 a.m. Monday and smashed into the back of a 2012 Nissan Altima that was stopped on the shoulder for unknown reasons.

Thomas was able to escape from her vehicle with minor injuries as both cars began burning. When the fire was extinguished, authorities discovered two occupants inside the Altima. Both were pronounced dead at the scene.

State Police said the identities of the two people killed in the accident have not been determined "due to the extent of the injuries.'' Autopsies are pending, State Police said.

Photo via

National Signing Day—the day when college football fans spend a lot of time waiting for teenagers to put on hats—is well underway. It's already treated us to some excitement and sparked a necessary, thoughtful discussion.

We've rounded up two of the sharpest college football writers in the land to answer all of your questions about the day's goings-on. Spencer Hall, who writes about college football at Every Day Should Be Saturday, and SBNation Recruiting's Bud Elliott are waiting for you in the discussion section. Get to it!

Update (4:10 p.m.): OK, Spencer and Bud are done. Thanks, guys.

Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton was arrested early this morning for driving under the influence of alcohol in Thornton, Colo. According to police, Helton was pulled over a few blocks away from his home at 2:39 a.m. Helton just released a statement on the incident, via the Denver Post:

Last evening I exercised poor judgment and was charged with drinking and driving after driving to a gas station near my house. I am very sorry and embarrassed by my actions. I hold myself to a high standard and take my responsibility as a public figure very seriously.

My entire career I have worked to set a positive example for my family and in our community and I fell far short of this standard.

I sincerely ask my family, the Colorado Rockies Organization, Major League Baseball and the community to accept my apology. I make no excuses and accept full responsibility for my actions. I humbly ask your forgiveness.

According to the Post, the police report contained no mention of what Helton's blood-alcohol content was.

[Denver Post]

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and his fiancée, Kristin Cavallari, have announced that they have selected a wedding date. How exciting! More important, however, are the newly revealed details of how Cutler proposed to his wife-to-be. Here's how Cavallari described the magical moment to E! Online:

It was so silly. I was in the airport, leaving Chicago. We had just spent however many days together and we were texting and somehow it came up, like, "Oh, shall we get married?" We're like, "Yeah, OK." And then he sent my ring in the mail. So I actually had my ring sitting at home for a couple of weeks before I put it on.

It's impossible to think of Cutler proposing in a way that would be more fitting of his bored-trust-fund-baby persona. I like to imagine that he sent Cavallari that text message while sitting on the toilet and thumbing through an old issue of Playboy.

Related: Ladies, Chad Ochocinco's Marriage Proposal Will Have You Sopping Wet

[E! Online]

You all won't have Pau Gasol to push around anymore. At least for the next six weeks, anyway. Gasol left last night's Lakers-Nets game after hearing a "pop" in his foot, and he has now been diagnosed with a tear in his plantar fascia.

Bummer. Gasol's season was already going down a sad road: Mike D'Antoni gave his starting job to Earl Clark, his numbers are way below his career averages, and he's been tossed into more trade rumors than anyone else in the NBA. On the bright side, he should have a lot more time to send all kinds of awesome and informative tweets.

That is so true, Pau.

Yesterday, we learned about Rockies first baseman Todd Helton's DUI arrest and were treated to his I-am-too-drunk-for-pictures-right-now mugshot, but specific details were sparse. We knew that Helton was arrested a few blocks from his house at 2:39 a.m., but that was about it. Thanks to TMZ, which has obtained a copy of the police report, we now know a little more about what allegedly happened early Wednesday morning:

According to the report, cops tracked down Helton after receiving a tip that Todd's black Ford F150 had struck a median and then parked at a nearby gas station.

When cops arrived to the scene, police say they saw Helton stumbling out of the gas station — stinking of booze — and clutching lottery tickets in his hand.

Cops say Helton denied striking a median ... but "made spontaneous statements about drinking two igloo cups of red wine."

Wow. That just might be the saddest goddamn thing I have ever read. Please take a moment to picture Todd Helton—who made $20 million last year, is the greatest player in Rockies franchise history, and a borderline Hall of Fame first baseman—sitting at home, drinking red wine out of an igloo cup at 2:30 in the morning, and then deciding that he needs to drive his truck to the gas station a few blocks away so that he can buy lotto tickets. That's something that your uncle Todd who stays in the basement during Thanksgiving does.

[TMZ]

Remember when you saw a John Wall highlight reel for the first time? My first experience with him came courtesy of this mixtape from his high school days, in which Wall fast-twitches all over various high school gyms and generally looks like a space alien come to destroy our previous notions of what a basketball player can and cannot do.

It's been a long time since I've felt that way about Wall. Since going pro, his electric talents have been buried under the persistent dysfunction of his Wizards team, a prolonged injury, and the possibility that he had transformed into Fat John Wall. The fact that the NBA is now littered with dynamic young point guards didn't help matters, either. There are only so many hosannas to go around.

But last night, while leading his team to a 10-point victory over the New York Knicks, Wall reminded us that he is still very much John Wall. In the video above, you'll see Wall swipe a shot away from Carmelo Anthony, streak down to other end of the court, rip out Jason Kidd's still-beating center of gravity with a vicious spin move, and then softly lay the ball in.

Wall has only started eight games since returning from injury last month and is still playing himself into game shape (you can see that he never quite reaches full, holy-shit-how-is-he-moving-that-fast speed in the play above), but last night served as a reminder that he is back, and that he is, hopefully, ready to dazzle us once again.

Beyoncé performed during halftime at the Super Bowl this year. You may have heard about this. Beyoncé's performance was so captivating that the internet is still buzzing about it, although much of that buzz has to do with some pictures of Beyoncé that some consider to be unflattering. You know what the best thing to do with pictures like those is, right? Have a Photoshop contest. You know what to do.

We offer up these photos as your muses, but you can find even more inspiration here.

Leave your sure-to-be hilarious entries in the discussion section. Best submission gets a prize.

Chris Rix, former Florida State Seminoles quarterback and current college football insider for Fox Sports, went on Jay Mohr's radio show yesterday and gay-baited his former teammate, Darnell Dockett, who currently plays defensive end for the Arizona Cardinals. Things get started at the 2:42 mark of the audio clip below, when Mohr asks Rix if Dockett—who isn't shy about speaking his mind—has always been so boisterous.

While responding, Rix commented that, "There was always jokes about Darnell, and what his preference was in college, if I might. Because there was a few incidents of him hanging out with some dudes in the Union and some other stuff." Mohr goes on to ask if other guys ever made fun of Dockett's sexuality to his face, to which Rix replies, "Yes, they did. And he would get defensive at times, as most guys would. But let's just say that there were a few stories of 'Why is Darnell hanging out at this guy's house or this guy's dorm room?'"

Today, Rix tried to apologize:

But Dockett is having none of it (his tweets have since been deleted):

Those are harsh words, but Rix seems to be letting them bounce right off him. He's at peace with being an asshole:

There was some world-class jagoffery going on in the Duke student section during last night's N.C. State-Duke game. In the second half, N.C. State guard Tyler Lewis stepped to the free-throw line and was reportedly greeted by a chant of, "How's your grandma?" from the Cameron Crazies. Lewis's grandma died last Friday. You can listen for yourself in the video above, but it's tough to decipher exactly what was being said. Whatever's being said does sound a bit like, "Past your bedtime!" which the Crazies were reportedly chanting throughout the game. Still, accusations and conflicting information began to swirl on Twitter.

And this, from Lewis's teammate Rich Howell, has been getting retweeted despite Howell's account being protected:

A post denying that the chant ever happened was posted on the Duke Chronicle sports blog last night, but the debate continued in the comments section.

We're inclined to give the Crazies the benefit of the doubt. After all, the Dookies have always proven themselves to be the classiest of class acts.

[BSO]